In The Summertime Pasta Salad

Originally posted on August 28, 2012. This is my favorite pasta salad. Try it, you'll like it.

A true test of my mettle as a cook and a hostess. Having been out of town for four days and the cupboards bare, a phone call - from a friend for lunch. In 30 minutes. Tired of eating out, the intrepid hostess suggests the friend come over. She accepts. Now the only question is what to make? First lucky discovery - a block of feta cheese in the fridge. Good start. To the pantry, where pasta choices always abound and a box of tri-color rotini is discovered (the recipe calls for farfalle, but desperate times call for desperate measures). Good, we have the makings of my stand-by pasta salad, but what about a veg? The freezer gives the gift of a bag of frozen broccoli florets courtesy of Trader Joes (yes, fresh is always a better choice, but when one has been on vacation....). Now we are cooking with gas, literally. A simple French vinaigrette (olive oil, red wine vinegar and Dijon mustard) and voila - summertime pasta salad (oh, and a few garbanzo beans found in a container in the salad drawer thrown in for good measure and a bit of fiber). More good news from the freezer - half of a baguette (when warmed in the microwave it is quite yummy). All made in under 10 ten minutes once the water reached a boil. Whew!

Few songs embody a season the way 1970's Mungo Jerry's hit "In the Summertime" does. Now mind you, I am a big Sly and the Family Stone "Hot time in the Summertime" fan, but a listen to Mungo Jerry just makes me feel good. Ironically, this song was written in just 10 minutes, the same time it takes to make my pasta salad. So, you decide - yummy pasta salad or a seasonal ditty. Take a listen while you make up you mind.

The Recipe: (for a perfect world when there is time to plan and shop)

1 pound broccoli, trimmed to bite sized florets
1 pound tri-color bow tie pasta (technically any pasta will do, but their is definitely better flavor with the tri-color)
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp dry basil (if you have it)
1/2 can red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
Crumbled feta cheese to taste

Cook pasta. Drop broccoli into boiling water and cook just until it turns bright green (1 to minutes). Drain pasta and broccoli, rinsing with cold water and drain well again. Combine oil, vinegar, mustard and basil. In a large bowl, add pasta and dressing and mix well. Add beans, mix gently. Add feta and mix again.
Serve immediately if guests are about to arrive, or chill until you need it.

Ancient Chinese Secret Fried Rice

Chinese food at home - not always a sure bet. And I love a good stir fry as much as the next guy, but fried rice is truly my fave.The secret to good fried rice is (c)old white rice. You can either make your own and refrigerate it or use leftovers from take out, but it has to be cold. The rest is completely up to you. Chicken, pork, shrimp, vegetables - personally, I use whatever I happen to have on hand. This time I marinated chicken breast in a soy sesame dressing and grilled it. For the veg I went with shredded broccoli and carrots that I normally use to make Broccoli Slaw. I always have that on hand because sadly it is the only way the Julia child will eat broccoli. Oils, sauces, etc are also up to interpretation. I used soy sauce only as the marinated chicken added all the extra flavor necessary. Believe it or not, I make it all up as I go.The only downside is no fortune cookie finish, so now I have no idea what the future holds, what my lucky numbers might be, or how to say the word "door" in Chinese.

Of course my sister's and I were horrible when we used to imitate this commercial. The days before political correctness and Chinese domination of the world's economy via The Dollar Store were certainly dark times. (Speaking of which, for my next blog I am considering only cooking "food" purchased at dollar stores - whadda ya think?) Anyway, I will not recount for you all of our antics, but let me just say, both "Fried" and "Rice" would be pronounced with the letter L and I'll leave it at that. (I said it was horrible, didn't I, I forgot shameful as well). They don't make 'em like this anymore (and that's probably a good thing). Play the video....

The Recipe:

Were you not paying attention?! Which part of Ancient, Chinese and Secret didn't you get? Oh wait no it isn't....

3 cups cooked white rice, cold
3 tblsp vegetable oil

1 whole boneless chicken breast, cooked and chopped
2 eggs, lightly beaten

2 tbsp soy sauce (precisely 2 1/2 take out packs, if you really must know all of my secrets)
1/4 c chicken stock
1 12oz package Trader Joe's Broccoli Slaw

In a wok over medium heat, warm 1 tablespoon of oil, swirling to coat the bottom and sides of the pan. Add the eggs and stir continuously until soft curds form, about 1 minute. Transfer to a bowl. Add the remaining oil over medium-high heat, again swirling. When oil is hot, add the rice and stir and toss every 20-30 seconds until it is lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Add the chicken, broccoli, stock, soy sauce and stir to combine. Add the eggs and toss until egg is in small pieces and all the ingredients are heated through, about 1 minute longer. Serves 4.

GOTV Dinner

Turns out GOTV stands for Get Out The Vote. The first few weeks of campaign meetings I thought it was a special political television channel, but nope, turns out it is just fancy politico lingo. And, if there was ever a day to GOTV, today is that day - especially if you live in Wayne, Oakland or Macomb counties. Funny thing about August primary elections - they have horribly low voter turnout. In fact, it is the argument some politicians use for only placing millages on general election (aka November) ballots is that more people (although still low) vote. However, there is an argument to be made that August is more important than November, because the candidates that win in August are those that appear on the November ballot. Food for thought.

Seriously, what innovation of the mid 20th century was more significant to both food and pop culture than the frozen TV dinner? Think about it, "meat" entree, starch, veg and dessert all in one perfectly compartmentalized aluminum tray. Fried chicken, Salisbury steak, peach cobbler, brownie - man these frozen delights had it all. I mean, what other food also had an accompanying piece of furniture (the TV tray) and not only encouraged but practically required the watching of TV while eating? And good things come to those who wait, because remember, these were big before microwave ovens - there was preheating and then at least 25 minutes of baking. But still, it was a time saving invention that freed housewives like myself pursue other pastimes, and solved the everyday problem of how to please the whole family. With TV dinners, everyone could vote for their own meal - father could have meatloaf while junior enjoyed roast beef and little sister could have macaroni and cheese (when she was in her vegetarian phase).  Now, don't make me choose between Swanson and Banquet - that's like asking who was better Mary Tyler Moore or Carol Burnett. It just can't be done.


The Recipe:

Vote early and often
Democracy is at it's best with robust honest debate
You can't complain if you don't participate
Passion for a cause and an understanding family, help too
Serving size: every vote counts

Six Rashers of Kevin Bacon

Bacon has always been a basic food group as far as I am concerned. But doesn't it seem like all of a sudden, bacon is everywhere? And people are doing crazy things with bacon. I love bacon and eggs, spaghetti carbonara (the best kind of bacon and eggs) and a BLT as much as the next food blogger, but I have to draw the line and it may just be bacon in my chocolate. Or possibly, the Burger King Bacon Sundae, yes, you read that right, a bacon sundae being test marketed in southern states. Billed as a "cool collision of salty and sweet" and weighing in at only 510 calories, who wouldn't want one their way everyday? It seems as if we are in the midst of a bacon revolution.  In June, in a nearby town, they actually held a Michigan Baconfest, which of course the tickets sold out faster than a pig can blink. Actually, it's nice to know that in a world consumed by organic this and healthy that, that bacon reigns supreme.

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, also known as the Kevin Bacon game is based on the premise that it is a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it. The six degrees of separation concept that everyone in the world can be connected in six steps naturally flowed into connecting everyone in Hollywood to working (or over working, depending how you look at it) actor Kevin Bacon. There is actually a website devoted to this very topic - theoracleofbacon.org. You know if you want to go from Kevin Bacon to Greta Garbo or Cary Grant it will do the work for you. There are a few missing links, however. While Kevin Bacon can be easily connected to Lassie, he cannot be connected to Mr. Ed or Flipper (trust me, I checked). I recently saw an interview where Kevin Bacon admitted to being less than flattered when the game first emerged - apparently he felt it devalued his body of work. Seems like Kevin Bacon needs to be more Footloose and less A Few Good Men, if you ask me.

The Recipe:

Use good, thick platter bacon.
Never buy bacon in a flat package with a "viewing" window
Better yet, go to your meat counter.
Don't skimp on price, good bacon is worth it. After all, you are cutting years off of your life by eating it, it may as well be worth it.
If you like flat bacon, get a bacon press. You can also use it to make paninis.
Finally, consider prosciutto every once in a while, because bacon by any other name is just as savory

I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing

Because the crazy nature of my job right now, I find myself in some unusual places. This past weekend was no exception. I spent two days at the Festa Italiana (that's the Italian Festival for all you non I-talians) in Mt. Clemens. The highlight of the day was the cannoli eating contest. Now, I have a hard and fast personal rule to only consume one cannoli. This is sometimes referred to as the "Second Cannoli Rule" and I don't think I have to tell you why I have only second cannolied once. In the high stakes world of competitive eating, regurgitation is politely referred to as a "reversal of fortune". And let's just say, I had some bad luck - once(in my defense, it was after consuming a large meal at the Roma Cafe, Detroit's oldest Italian restaurant).  Anyway, the contestants had 5 minutes to consume as many cannolis as possible and the winner was a 17 year old kid who ate 11. You don't want to know what happened to the second place finisher. Every contestant received a "It's Not a Party Until the Cannoli Comes Out" t-shirt. That's amore in The Clem!

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing" - the Alka Seltzer tag line of the early 1970s. It's no "plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh, what a relief it is" but almost as good. And, I am sure all over and competitive eaters would agree! (play the video)

The Recipe:

A good cannoli must be filled just before consuming, so the shell has a crunch to it.
Never eat a cannoli that has been sitting, it will be soggy.
I prefer cream, but ricotta is good, too.
I prefer mine rolled in chocolate chips, but nuts have their place.
Serving size: 1 - seriously, you do not want to second cannoli.

Sangria and Sun

Few things are better in life than a glass (or two) of sangria on a warm sunny summer day. And when I say sangria, I mean red sangria - no white for me. Honestly, where else can you get a full daily serving of fruit and a refreshing alcoholic beverage all in one? I found this recipe back when I started making paella, although I don't recall the source. And boy do they go together, which may be why I can't recall the source. Anyway, the secret ingredient is Grand Marnier, and it is worth it - no scrimping. Now, some folks tell me that those pre-made sangrias are mighty fine, but I have never tasted one that I thought was better than this. The only dilemma is that you mix everything together and it has to refrigerate for 4 to 6 hours, so patience is definitely a virtue. And did I mention that is is healthy? Mmmmmm, alcohol soaked fruit.

From 1972 until 1977 Redd Foxx and Demond Wilson starred as Sanford and Son (Fred and Lamont, respectively) on NBC. Fred Sanford was meant to be the answer to Archie Bunker, and both shows were take offs of successful BBC comedies (so even back then all the good TV show ideas originated in the UK). The family junk business in the WATTS section of Los Angeles was the setting for much of the comedy, and of Fred's often feigned heart attacks ("the big one") whenever he needed to fully manipulate his dutiful son.  Of course, that shtick came back to haunt Redd, when he actually suffered and died of a heart attack in 1991 on the set of another show, The Royal Family (apparently being the Foxx who cried wolf doesn't pay). Anyway, Sanford and Son was so successful in it's 8p Friday time slot that it was actually a contributing factor to the cancellation of The Brady Bunch (along with Cousin Oliver) in 1974 which aired on ABC at the same time. I knew I never liked this show, and now I know why.



The Recipe:

1 bottle red wine (makes me feel so fine)
1/4 c Grand Marnier
1/4 c orange juice
2 tblsp sugar
1 orange, sliced
1 green apple, cored and cut into cubes
1 red apple, cored and cut into cubes
5 oz sparkling water

In a large pitcher, combine all ingredients except sparkling water. Chiil 4 to 6 hours covered. Add sparkling water before serving. Makes about 6 glasses.

Otis' Rummy Omelet

After an outcry over the death of Andy Griffith last week, I was compelled to delve once again into Aunt Bee's Mayberry Cookbook and pluck out another gem of a recipe. Just be glad it's not called "Otis Runny Omelet", just sayin. Anyway, this time a plain omelet (although we threw in a little cheese) that is doused in rum, and lit on fire. As my faithful readers know, I do relish the chance to set food to flame, so this one was a go. Literally, it is a plain egg omelet, soaked in rum and flamed. The recipe so simple (see below) that any egg eater could do it. And taste, you ask? Well, Mark liked it. He said, and I quote, "it tasted like an omelet with an occasional hint of rum" - just what the cookbook authors hoped for I am sure. Good news for my fearless readers, I just found out that there is a cookbook for pyros, aptly named "The Pyromaniacs Cookbook" so my predilection to light food on fire may take on a whole new life.

Otis Campbell, the perpetual "guest" of Sheriff Andy Taylor and the Mayberry Jail. Played by Hal Smith, one of those not so famous yet appeared on every show in the 60s character actor guys (I mean, he was on The Brady Bunch twice for gosh sake) whose name you never knew but face was oh so familiar. As Mayberry's town drunk, Otis always seemed to find himself with the DTs and Barney Fife at the end of a long night and usually for breakfast as well. Although, I must point out that I doubt Otis ever enjoyed something as fancy as an omelet while doing his time - that seems more Mt. Pilot than Mayberry. No, I recall Barney making him two soft-boiled eggs, some toast, and black coffee - lots of black coffee. Oh, to live in a town where public intoxication is the headiest of infractions.....

The Recipe:

Here's the joke, there literally isn't one. Even Alice made a stab at a list of ingredients, but not Aunt Bee...

The book says:

Make a plain omelet. Transfer to a silver plated dish and douse in good rum. Light.

What we did:

2 eggs, beaten with a whisk until fluffy
grated cheese to taste
1/4 c 151 Rum
matches

Heat a flameproof omelet pan. Pour in beaten eggs and cook 1 minute, until set on the bottom and bubbling on the top. Add cheese, and fold one end over the over to create a half-moon shape. Cook one minute. Pour on rum and light immediately. Serves one inmate.