Sloppy Joe Namath's

This was originally published on August 24,2011 in my first blog Cooking With Alice, where I spent 121 "cooking" my way through Alices Brady Bunch Cookbook. The "recipes" in general are repulsive, and clearly untested. But they make for a great story, and if you Google "baked beans in a flashlight" I'm number two. Enjoy reading, use extreme caution if you are foolish enough to try this at home.

Sloppy Joes, not a normal menu item for our house. When I first met Mark he would make a scary version involving ground turkey and some type of condensed soup (possibly vegetable, but I've tried to block it out). So, needless to say, they've been tabu ever since. And, anything that includes ketchup as an ingredient makes me wary, but it's not tuna, so I am doing it. I briefly toyed with the idea of making my own ketchup, but that just makes me a freak, right? So, garlic, Worcestershire sauce, dry mustard, brown sugar and ground beef round out the recipe. As usual, the ingredients and the directions do not match up, keeping me on my twinkle toes.

Season 5, Episode 2: "Mail Order Hero".  Okay, so we really do  need to start to worry about Bobby. Why wasn't Mike enough of a male role model that he had to seek out the likes of Jesse James, Minnesota Fats, and now he will lie, cheat and practically steal to meet Joe Namath?  I mean, if they aren't careful he's going to grow up to be a race car driver. Just sayin. Anyway, Bobby's insecurities show when he brags to his friends that he knows Joe Namath personally. When they tell him to put up or shut he feels the squeeze. Cindy, thinking she's doing him a solid, writes Namath a letter saying her brother is dying to meet him, literally. When Broadway Joe shows up at the Brady's thinking he is meeting a terminally ill fan, Bobby plays along with Cindy's ruse and weakly feigns illness, until Mike and Carol get wind of the ploy. Insert fatherly lecture #47 here about honesty, integrity, blah, blah, blah we've heard it all before and apparently no one in that house is listening.  Namath, sensing he's been had, makes an end run for the exit and quicker than you can say 'I've got a run in my pantyhose,' he's outta there.

Use extreme caution as this may cause permanent damage or death to your taste buds.

The Recipe:

1/4 cup butter
1 large white onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 3/4 tblsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp firmly packed brown sugar
1 3/4 tsp dry mustard
1 1/4 c ketchup
2 c lean ground beef, cooked (I love this - ground beef in "cups" not pounds or ounces, leave it to Alice)
8 hamburger buns
soft butter (because, you can never have enough!}

In a skillet melt the 1/4 cup of butter and saute the onion and garlic until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the Worcestershire, brown sugar, mustard, salt (which you may notice is not mentioned in the list of ingredients}, and ketchup. Reduce the heat and simmer slowly for 10 minutes. Add the meat (which you were already supposed to cook according to the above), and simmer until hot. Spread the inside of the buns with soft butter. Spoon some of the beef evenly onto each bun. Alice's Note: This is most requested when friends are brought home for lunch. Makes 8 sandwiches.