(Not a) Single Luxury Brownies

Turns out, there is no "one" brownie recipe. In fact, when one begins looking at just how many varieties of brownies there are, it is quite overwhelming. You've got fudge, chocolate, blonde, butterscotch, and peanut butter just to scratch the surface. In fact, there were no fewer than 20 brownie variations in the cookbooks I own, let alone if you begin to search on line - and it seems everybody has a favorite. Here at our house, the favorite comes from a store bought mix (gasp - I know). I am referring to the No Pudge brand, that you simply add 2/3 cup non-fat vanilla yogurt and bake. Not surprisingly, Trader Joes has there own version called Reduced Guilt Brownies that are equally as good and the psychology behind the health fact works very well. Don't knock it until you've tried it. Anyway, today's recipe (if you haven't figured it out already from the title) comes courtesy of our favorite uncharted desert isle by way of Mary Ann's Cookbook. A fudgy concoction that is sure to please, and a nice break when all you have is coconuts and bananas. And let me finally say, (although why do I think I have to wrap up my comments? I mean this is my food blog afterall) brownie, unlike cake and cookie batter, is not appetizing raw, it needs to be baked. You're welcome.

Every time I venture into the world of Gilligan's Island I find myself asking the same question: Why were a millionaire and his wife on board the SS Minnow anyway? And, it is not just now with my adult sensibilities - this issue bugged me a kid. Really, didn't they have their own yacht?  I mean a million dollars was a lot of money in 1964, and yet this high-falutin rich couple find themselves on a chartered boat crewed by an inept captain and bumbling first mate along with peasant  fellow passengers on the order of an absent minded professor (and NOT the famous one), a Kansas farm girl (and NOT the famous one) and a soft-spoken starlet (and NOT the famous one).  I find it hard to believe. Next, you'll say an Air Force Major finds a bottle with a Jeanie in it. Or, a man marries a witch and tries to make her fit into his warlock world. I just don't buy it. And, the only belongings they seem to have brought are suitcases full of money - for a three-hour cruise. For that cash they could have bought the Minnow lock, stock and Gilligan. Just sayin.



The Recipe:

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
2/3 c shortening
2 c sugar
4 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 c flour
1 tsp salt

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 12x9x2 baking pan. Melt chocolate and shortening in a large saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat. Mix in sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Stir in remaining ingredients. Spread in pan. Or, at this point you may say to yourself : hey I should have followed her advice and gotten the mix and the yogurt, just sayin.

Bake 30 minutes (or if you are using the aforementioned mixes, bake for 32 minutes despite what the box says - trust the kitsch-en) or until brownies start to pull away from the sides of the pan. Cool slightly, cut into bars - or you could be at the bar - your choice.

Beignet There, Done That

Beignets - the official doughnut of Louisiana, and a tasty little French concoction made by my friend Mary. Mary and I met in high school. Her parents are both from France, as is her husband. Needless to say, Mary lives and breathes everything French (including the wine from their vineyard). When we were teenagers, I loved eating dinner at her house. Mostly, because her mother cooked every night, but also because it was French cooking. Madame Oudin had a way of making even simple fried potatoes - pommes de terre sautee - sound and taste better. Anyway, through the miracle of Facebook, I recently learned that Mary and her mother were making beignets, and immediately latched onto the idea that she must also teach me to do the same. One girls weekend later - voila! Now, my favorite part of the recipe was when she told us the story of  when she asked her aunt (in France) for the recipe, she began by replying (in French, mais oui) "well, it all depends how many eggs the hens laid that day". I love that way of cooking, but it is frustrating when trying to recreate family favorites. Anyway, Mary, practical as she is, responded to her Aunt "imagine the hens laid six eggs today and go from there". The end result is worth it, but once again, a very labor and time intense process: 16 hours and a lot of sifting, beating, rising, punching, rolling, cutting and frying. We may have killed our yeast as our rising was less than successful (after two tries), but otherwise tres manifique.

Of course the story about the hens makes me think of one thing - I Love Lucy and the baby chick episode. One of the first after the Ricardos gave up city life and moved to Connecticut. They were having trouble paying their bills due to Lucy's overspending on new furniture so their house could be featured in House and Garden Magazine. Ricky, upset with the 'spenses' agrees to Lucy's nutty idea to raise chickens and sell the eggs. The Mertzes join in and hilarity ensues when Fred's unfinished hen house can't accommodate the 500 baby chicks bought by Lucy and Ethel. They decide house them in Ricky's den to keep them warm, turning up the heat in the house to sauna like levels, forcing everyone to don various states of undress. That seems to be working until Little Ricky leaves the den door open and the chicks escape. As her luck always had it, Lucy is running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to herd the babies just as the magazine people show up, and her hopes of being portrayed as a glamorous homemaker are dashed. I know the feeling (and have the t-shirt to prove it).

Le Recipe:

1 packet dry active yeast

½ c milk

¾ c softened butter

¼ c sugar

½ tsp salt

4 c sifted flour

3 eggs

4 egg yolks

Vegetable or other frying oil

Scald the milk. Mix butter, sugar, salt in a large bowl. Pour scalded milk over mixture. Allow to stand until luke warm. Mix in ½ c sifted flour. Stir in the softened yeast. Beat in (with a spoon) 1 ½ c sifted flour. Add the 3 eggs and 4 yolks one a t a time, beating in after each addition. Continue to beast the dough until it becomes soft. Add the final 2 c flour and beat thoroughly (for at least 5 minutes). Turn into a buttered bowl large enough for the mixture to double. Cover with waxed paper and a kitchen towel. Put in a warm (80 degree) place (best if you have a “proofing” setting on your oven) and allow to rise.

When doubled in size, punch down with fist, butter surface and cover again. Set in refrigerator at least 12 hours, punching down when necessary (I think this is a good recipe after a stressful day at work).

Turn dough out onto a floured surface. Cut into quarters and set pieces aside while you roll out each section of dough. Cut (a pizza wheel works well, although not very French) into diamond shapes.  Heep oil in a heavy pot ( my guess is to about 360 degrees and try to maintain that temp) and add dough, several pieces at a time for about 30 – 40 seconds turning over after the first side is browned (this will go very quickly). Drain on a paper towel, transfer to a serving bowl and sprinkle with sugar and voila!

Makes about 4 dozen.

EMERGENCY! 5 Alarm Chili

The problem with my mother is that she has no recipes written down (well, it is the cooking problem with my mother, anyway). I have tried for years to make Thanksgiving dinner just the way she does with mixed results. She cooks by sight and feel, not by written words. I admire this except when it comes to recreating what she does. I often wonder if  she's being proprietary or simply can't remember or just doesn't know. And, it ts ironic that my first guest submission to this blog would be from someone who doesn't know I am a food blogger. So, my mother's chili. First, there is a secret ingredient : Mr. and Mrs. T's bloody mary mix. I know this because I was there 30 years ago when necessity, and my mother of invention, was making chili and lacked some of the basic seasonings, but had bloody mary mix on hand (of course, a staple in our house). Voila! Her famous chili recipe was born. The rest of the ingredients, or at least the proportions remain in question, but for the most part she has made chili this way ever since. It's good, too. Oddly, I yearn for a shot of vodka and a celery stalk instead of crackers when eating it, but otherwise my favorite chili.

"EH ER AH Squad 51":  EMERGENCY! an Adam-12 spinoff combining hospital drama and with the action of paramedic rescue. Starring Randolph Mantooth (what a great stage name) and Kevin Tighe (John and Roy - the Paramedics), Bobby Troup and Robert Fuller (the doctors), and Julie London (as Nurse Dixie McCall).  The stories always started with a 911 call to the firestation and Squad 51 would be dispatched to a burning chemical factory about to blow that had a bus full of school children trapped inside. Then, after the daring rescue, they would whisk the victims to Rampart General where the crack medical team would take over and perform grueling 10 hour surgery. John and Roy would always hang out at the hospital to see the outcome and make time with Dixie. No matter how serious the accident or injury, each episode always ended with a bit of comic relief, usually surrounding John and Roy's buddy Chet, who was always back at the fire station cooking up something in the kitchen.



The Recipe:

Ground beef
Kidney beans
Stewed tomatoes
Mr and Mrs Ts Bloody Mary Mix
(you be the judge on the amounts)


So here's the rub - there isn't one. Brown the beef, add the beans, stewed tomatoes and the Mr and Mrs Ts to taste. Cook until it's done. Serve however many you like.

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Pepper (and a Sausage) Too

Have you ever eaten something over and over in a restaurant and love it so much you wish you could make it at home? But try as you might to recreate it without a recipe, it is never quite right. Well, until recently, that was me and sausage and peppers - you know, that cut up sausage and red and green peppers and onion thing that you get in Italian restaurants and markets that is slightly greasy but oh so good. I've eaten (and enjoyed) this dish in many places, but my favorite is at the Roma Cafe, Detroit's oldest Italian restaurant. They have a Monday night buffet to die for (unfortunately, literally as it is not health food) and the sausage and peppers are a mainstay. And, as I savored it on Mondays, I'd spend the rest of my days trying to deconstruct it, with limited success -  until one day not long ago when a very special issue of Saveur Magazine arrived. The featured article was about Italian-American food  from markets and little family-owned cafes around the country. And there it was, THE RECIPE, from a little Italian hole-in-the-wall place in the Bronx. I could hardly contain myself. And even better, I happened to have some special Italian sausage from my favorite Italian market, Folgarellis, in the freezer waiting for just such an occasion. All I needed was some peppers and an onion and I was set. After a quick trip to the store, I was ready.  The key turned out to be chicken stock, of all things. Who knew? Nevertheless, food nirvana. Sausage and peppers in my home. Life is good.

The 70s had a lot of great commercials - they made you want to buy the world a Coke and recite the make up of a Big Mac, and best of all they made you want to be a part of an original crowd. What exactly that means, I am still trying to figure out, but Dr.Pepper and the total cutie David Naughton in 1978 made me not care. I mean, after his song and dance, who DIDN'T want to be a pepper, too?! And, I didn't even mind his 1979 debacle TV sitcom Makin' It - about a disco dancing stud that boogied byt night and worked in an ice cream parlor by day - that only lasted nine episodes -  I loved him no matter what. Yes, even as a creepy n American werewolf (in London).  I'd be a part of his crowd any day.

The Recipe:

1 1/2 pounds sweet Italian sausages
6 tbsp. olive oil
2 medium yellow onions, thinly sliced (I like to use sweet onions when available)
1 red bell pepper, stemmed, seeded, and cut into 1/2 inch strips
1 green pepper, stemmed, seeded, and cut into 1/2 inch strips
1/2 tsp. crushed red chile flakes
4 cloves of garlic, finely chopped (sometimes I use frozen minced, don't judge me)
1 cup chicken stock
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

Bring sausages, 3 tbsp. oil and 1/3 cup water to a boil in a 12 inch skillet over medium-high heat; cover, and simmer until sausages are half-cooked, about 8 minutes. Uncover and cook, turning, until sausages are browned all over, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board and cut into 4 pieces each; set aside. Return skillet to heat along with remaining 3 tbsp. oil. Add onions and peppers; cook until soft, about 6 minutes. Add chile flakes and garlic; cook until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Return sausages to skillet along with stock, oregano, and salt and pepper; boil. Cover and cook until sausages are cooked through, about 10 minutes; uncover and cook until sauce is slightly reduced, about 4 minutes. Serves 4-6. Eat it on a plate, in a bun, with two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese - really just have it your way.