What You Talkin 'bout Pizza Bianca

Pizza Bianca, the final piece to the Nonie's meat sauce/Gnip Gnop Gnocchi trifecta. I got this little, extremely simple recipe from Gourmet Magazine about 10 years ago and it will change your life, as it has mine and anyone else's who eats from my table. It is basically pizza dough, kosher salt and olive oil, but boy is it tasty. I buy my pizza dough at Trader Joe's because it is easy and cheap, but am often annoyed with the cashiers who always say "Making pizza tonight?" And I have to say, no I am making this delicious flatbread. And then they have to say 'what you talkin 'bout?'. And then I have to recite the recipe and they look at me like I am from another planet (albeit, a planet with very good food). And it always happens. Evey time I buy it. Which is often. It's probably a sign that I should go back to making my own dough. Anyway, you need a jelly roll pan, which is a rectangular baking sheet with low sides. But other than that, it couldn't be easier. Of course I advocate making gnocchi too, but I have seen some people just eat this bread with Nonie's sauce piled on top of it (or inside of it). Leftovers (wait what am I talkin 'bout -  like that's going to happen) also make great bread for paninis.

If ever there was an argument for keeping your kids out of show biz, "Diff'rent Strokes" would be it. The premise is simple: A rich white widower (Conrad Bain, of Maude fame) with a daughter (Dana Plato - we will get to her in a minute) and a housekeeper (Charlotte Rae) adopt two African-American orphaned street kids (Todd Bridges and Gary Coleman) and they live together in a deluxe apartment in the sky (wait, wrong show). And of course, each episode was punctuated by Arnold's catch phrase: what you talkin' 'bout, Willis? Responding to something crazy his big brother uttered. And so you have the recipe for a run-a-way hit tv show, fame beyond and belief tons of money = derelict, has-beens at age 18. Victims of greedy parents and unscrupulous accountants, the money is squandered and the former child stars are left to a life of drug addiction and crime. Even the very special episode featuring First Lady Nancy Regan and her "Just Say No" anti-drug campaign couldn't keep these kids out of the gutter. Dana Plato was the first to fall, after a series of arrests for armed robbery (ok, it was a pellet gun) and forging prescriptions she died of a drug overdose at age 34. Gary Coleman, sweet little Arnold Jackson, didn't fare much better. After being robbed by his parents and divorcing them, he spent the rest of his years trying to recapture his fleeting fame, alternating between running for Governor of California and working as a security guard, when he wasn't beating up his "fans". He too died young, at age 42. Todd Bridges actually comes out of this trio smelling like a rose, simply because he's not dead yet. After years of drug addiction and arrests for such crimes as carrying a firearm, making a bomb threat, cocaine possession and shooting an accused drug dealer (ok, this last one might of been his way of just saying no, but still...) his only "success" has been a reality show career that culminated with an appearance on Dancing with the Stars. It takes different strokes to move the world. Yes it does. It takes different strokes to move the world.


The Recipe:

1 tsp hot water
1/2 tsp kosher salt
2 tblsp olive oil ( 1 + 1)
16 ounces pizza dough (make your own, it's less complicated than buying it from Trader Joes - or better yet, get it fresh from your local pizzeria. Just ask, they usually will sell it to you)
All-purpose flour

Special Equipment: 15x10x1 inch jelly roll/baking pan, lightly oiled; pizza wheel

Place rack in the bottom of the oven and preheat oven to 500 degrees. Whisk together hot water and kosher salt until most of the salt is dissolved. Then whisk in one tablespoon of the olive oil. Coat dough lightly with flour, then stretch with floured hands into a 12x8 rectangle. Transfer dough to the baking pan, stretching dough to cover most of the pan. Dimple dough by pressing your finger tips all over, then brush with oil mixture. Bake until golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from pan onto a cutting board, brush with remaining tablespoon of oil and cut into smaller pieces with a pizza wheel. Serve warm and with Nonies meat sauce.
Serves 4.