Most Popular Girl Pine Nut Sauce

This is one of my favorite posts from Cooking With Alice, originally published August 11, 2011. Funny thing is, I also remember this not tasting too bad, either. A rarity to say the least. Although, I've never made it again, which may be because of it being cost prohibitive. Buon Appetito! 

Turns out, pine nuts are very expensive and apparently there was a bad crop this year so in short supply. Luckily I only needed two tablespoons, because at $28 per pound I may otherwise have had to skip this one! Thank goodness for Rocky's in the Eastern Market where you can buy in bulk and just what you need. Oh, and a husband who is willing to run (literally) over there at lunch time to pick them up. So, that said, toasted pine nuts, chopped fresh marjoram and butter (an entire stick!), served over the pasta of my choice (penne).

The quintessential Jan/Brady Bunch episode "Miss Popularity". What kind of school has a 'Most Popular Girl' competition? Apparently Fillmore Jr High, and Jan is in the running against Kathy Williams.  Jan convinces Peter to be her campaign manager and enlists the help of her siblings by making them promises she never intends to keep. Somehow Jan has the notion that people can say anything to get elected and then do the opposite after they win.She even gets Alice to make campaign fortune cookies to hand out at school. Jan continues to promise her classmates anything they need to secure their votes, and beats poor Kathy. Oblivious to the little people who got her where she is, Jan quickly becomes a pariah at school and at home. Mike and Carol lecture her about her big head and empty heart, but it falls on deaf ears until she finds out that she doesn't have a date to the dance, because, as she puts it "I'm as popular as the measles". Feeling humbled, Jan sees the error of her ways, redoubles her effort to fulfill all of her promises, and accepts a date from Peter to the dance (not going to touch that one, either).  Fortune cookie say: All promises and no humility make Jan most unpopular girl.


The Recipe (in all of it's simplicity, cause that's the way Alice likes it, uh-huh, uh-huh)

1/2 cup butter
2 tblsp toasted pine nuts, chopped
1 tblsp chopped fresh marjoram
1 pound pasta (any shape), cooked
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

In a small saucepan, melt the butter. Add the pine nuts and marjoram and cook for 3 minutes. Pour the sauce over the pasta and season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with Parmesan.
Note: (Alice's, not mine) To toast pine nuts, arrange the pine nuts on a baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Serves the Brady Six.

Peanut Butter Sandwich Disciple

I must profess and confess my love of the peanut butter (on white bread, and jelly, grape) sandwich. I will also tell you that I eat peanut butter on a myriad of other foods, such as bagels, warmed tortillas, and toasted pita, often adding a sliced banana.. I mean, the PB & J is arguably America's most iconic food, after hot dogs and apple pie. I will even admit that peanut butter would be my luxury item if I were to ever find myself on "Survivor". Oh, and smooth is the only way to go in my book. Yes, I am a peanut butter fanatic. Which leads me to ponder the other famous (or infamous) peanut butter concoction - Elvis' fried peanut butter and banana sandwich - or as he referred to it - "The Nanner" (Thank you very much). I am always preaching to the Julia child to keep an open mind about new foods, to try something before you decide it's gross, etc. And unfortunately for me, this applies to the nanner. I have always scoffed at the notion of frying my beloved peanut butter sandwich, but decided not to knock it until I tried it. I was pleasantly surprised to find in my research that none other than the Domestic Goddess herself, Nigella Lawson embraced Elvis's mama's recipe. That was enough for me.I was also amazed that Nigella also called for only 2 tablespoons of butter for the frying - I can only imagine what Paula Deen would use. The mash up of the peanut butter and banana works to the point that it a regular PB & B, the sliced bananas tend to fall out of the bread. But the crunch of the bread, while perfect for grilled cheese, is a waste for my beloved spread.

50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong. Neither can a handful of kooks. I don't remember where I was on August 16, 1977 - the day the music (and allegedly Elvis) died. I can tell you I was at a Little League game in suburban Milwaukee when Michael Jackson died. Nevertheless, there was a time when I, and many other readers of Weekly World News believed Elvis was still alive. There is an excellent freak show of a documentary called "Rock 'n Roll Disciples" that chronicles a handful of fanatics who made the pilgrimage to Graceland following the King's supposed passing, and gave the filmmaker their various theories on how it was all a lie. Case in point: if you move the letters around in ELVIS, it appears to mean LIVES. 8/16/1977 (the reported death date) when added up 8+16+1977 = 2001, and I don't have to point out that that was Elvis theme song, if you get my drift. No, for many years I was a believer. Until Lisa Marie married Michael that is, and then I was sure Elvis had left the building.  


The Recipe: (courtesy of Nigellla Lawson & Food Network)
 1 (for the money) small ripe banana
2 ( for the show) slices white bread
3 (to get ready) tbsp creamy peanut butter
2 tbsp butter

Now, go cat go, place 2 pieces of white bread in the toaster on a light setting. Heat skillet over medium heat with butter. While the bread is toasting, in a small bowl, using a fork mash the bananauntil it reaches a smooth consistency. Using a knife, spread each slice of bread with peanut butter, topping one side with the mashed banana. Place 1 slice of bread on top of the forming a sandwich. Place in the hot skillet, browning each side about 2 minutes each. Serves 1 person not worried about their arteries clogging.

Egg-cellent Egg Salad

When Easter gives you hard boiled eggs, make egg salad. That's my motto, anyway. Even when life gives you a partial carton of eggs about to expire, make egg salad. Truly, there is never a time when egg salad isn't the answer for me. I will admit that my affinity for the lunchtime treat is one that I acquired as an adult. As a child, I never would have even thought about eating egg salad - and I only liked the whites of the hard-boiled Easter eggs, dipped in lots of salt. The yolks went right into the trash. But, as my tastes have refined, and my resistance to throwing away eggs has grown, egg salad is the perfect answer. The recipe once again comes from Betty, Crocker that it is. She has two methods - cold water and boiling water. I go with the cold, for no other reason than it appears first in the book and after doing it that way once, it became my preferred method. Really, there's nothing to it, hard-boiled eggs, peeled and mashed, some mayo, a little salt and pepper and some good bread or even better, a bagel. Sometimes, just to be daring, I like chopped black olives mixed in as well. They add a little extra saltiness, and I like that.

Holy Easter Egg, Batman! And when I say Batman, you know that I am referring to the 1960's campy romp starring Adam West. Full of POW! and WHAM! and terrific guest villains - TV was never better. My favorite villain was of course the great Vincent Price (of Professor Whitehead/Brady Bunch Hawaii fame) as Egghead - the brilliant, yet slightly warped bald arch criminal out to foil Batman and Robin at every turn. Using egg-themed weapons laid by chickens on an onion only diet, he was the wizard of egg puns and his speech peppered with words such as egg-actly, egg-cellent, egg-ceptional and egg-citing (you get the point). Sure, Penguin, Joker, Riddler, Cat Woman (all 3) and King Tut might have had more air time, but nothing is as rotten as an egg gone bad. Will Batman and Robin escape without egg on their faces? Tune in tomorrow - same bat time, same bat channel.


The Recipe:

6 hard-cooked eggs, chopped
1//3 c mayonnaise
1/4 tsp salt
dash of pepper
black olives, if you got 'em

Special Equipment: Bat saucepan, Bat stove, Bat timer

Place eggs in a saucepan, add enough cold water to come at least 1 inch above the eggs. Heat rapidly to a boil. remove from heat. Cover and let stand 22 minutes. Immediately cool eggs in cold water to prevent further cooking. Tap egg to crackle shell. Roll egg between hands to loosen shell, then peel. Hold egg  under cold running water to help loosen shell. Place shelled eggs in a bowl and chop with a fork. Add mayo, salt and pepper and mix well. Chill. Makes 6 sandwiches, enough for a lovely luncheon at Stately Wayne Manor with Bruce, his young ward Dick, Aunt Harriet, Alfred, Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara.

Mr French Toast

So french toast is my favortie breakfast food to make at home. My favorite in a restaurant is silver dollar pancakes - but I can never get them right when I make them, so that I leave to the professionals. I learned to make french toast on my 8th grade camping trip to The Pinery in Canada. Over an open fire, no less. The boy in my class (we will call him Tony, since that is his name) who I had had a crush on since the first day we met in 6th grade showed me how. Sadly, he did not return my love, but he did teach me a skill I still to this day practice. Having parted ways in 9th grade, I often wondered about him. And then, about seven years ago, I learned that he lived just a few blocks away and his son was in the Julia child's class. Fate? Kismet? A cruel joke? All of the above really. He barely remembered me (if at all) and all of those wasted hours riding my bike passed his house seemed in vain (when we were in middle school, not as an adult). Anyway, a simple recipe, with a sweet little story. Good, thick bread, an egg, some milk and a dash of cinnamon. Oh, on a hot griddle - I no longer require the flame or burning embers of an open fire.

Before there was Mr. Belvedere, TV had it's quintessential butler in Mr French (played by Sebastian Cabot) on Family Affair. Nothing said comedy in 1966 like dead parents and a trio of unwanted orphans sent to live with their confirmed bachelor uncle, (Uncle Bill, played by Brian Keith) and his butler.Teenage Cissy, 6 year old twins Buffy and Jody, and Mrs Beasley rounded out the cast. And of course comedy ensued when the everyday ups and downs of raising kids ran smack into the swinging single lifestyle of New York City in the 1960s. Not unlike the fate of the Diffrent Strokes  cast (wealthy bachelor saddled with three kids and a housekeeper in the 1980s) the series actors met tragic and untimely deaths - Buffy died of a drug overdose, Uncle Bill committed suicide by gunshot, and Mr French died of cancer. Mrs Beasley is the lone survivor, bringing big bucks on Ebay (especially if she's in her original box).

The Recipe:

1 egg
1/2 cup milk (although, i will tell you, Tony didn't measure, he eye-balled the amounts, much like he did Anne Tintinelli, my arch rival for his affections. But I'm over it....)
dash of cinnamon
4 slices thick bread

Heat griddle. Beat egg, milk, cinnamon together in a wide, shallow bowl. Dip each slice of bread in the egg mixture, turning and pressing so it it is soaked. Cook on hot griddle, turning once, until golden brown. Serve with butter and warm syrup. Dust with powered sugar, if you have it.

Where's the Chocolate Dragon's Beard Candy?

Last week two people in my office went to Asia - one to China and one to Japan. And, they both brought back treats, presumably from the packaging, chocolate candy. Let's start with China and the Chocolate Dragon's Beard. Very beard-like, although not chocolatey. It was like a fuzzy shredded wheat that shed when you took a bite. And it desperately needed a cup of coffee to wash it down. There is a brown interior, wrapped in the white fuzz, but it was more of a paste than a piece of chocolate. This should never be confused with a Chocolate Frog (of Harry Potter fame), white is actually solid chocolate and actually shaped like a frog. Having never seen an actual dragon, I am not even sure that this is what their beards look like. Moving on to Japan, we have the Salt Crispy Chocolate. Again, no trace of chocolate. It was very much like a thin rice crispie treat with lots of added sodium, so they got two out of three right. These candies have made me think that somewhere, some marketing whiz said you know, if you use the the word chocolate, Americans will eat it up.

Where's the Beef? The ubiquitous tag line from the 1984 (a little too Orwellian, if you ask me) Wendy's commercial that sky rocketed  Clara Peller to fame. The ad featured three old ladies fondling a fluffy bun, admiring it's largess and Peller screaming for bigger meat. The phrase became so popular that Presidential candidate Walter Mondale asked his opponent Gary Hart "Where's the Beef?" referring to his lack of big ideas during a democratic debate (we now know that Donna Rice had that answer all along). Peller ate up her 15 minutes doing talk shows and even made an appearance on Saturday Night Live, before dying in 1987 at the age of 85. Finally, in 2011, Wendy's began an ad campaign declaring "Here's the Beef" . Now that's better.

The Ingredients:

Mmmmm, desiccated coconut, that's what gives it it's beard flavor. Please heed the warning about not eating the desiccant silica gel - that fooled me when it fell out of the package upon opening the candy! Not sure if the January 8, 2013 was the manufacture date or the expiration date......and always keep your Dragon's Beard in a cool, dry place (as it is likely flammable).



McHale's Navy Bean Soup

To soak or not to soak (the beans), that is the question. When using the meaty ham bone that had been in the freezer since Christmas, I decided to go with the traditional recipe from the Rival Crock Pot Cook Book, circa 1974 (see Split Peabody and Sherman Soup). Trouble is, it says to soak the beans at least 4 hours or overnight, but the package of navy beans said soaking was not necessary. A soup conundrum if ever there was one. I decided to soak, and I went all in and did it all night long. The next day, I just plopped the disgusting animal remains, water, chicken broth (which is optional, you can use all water), and a bay leaf in the crock, turned it on and waited 10 hours for soup. Luckily, I like soup, because that it a long time to wait. A rich and creamy concoction, filled with chunks of ham (which is second only to bacon...) and  a warm tasty meal on a cold winter's day is born.

It hard to believe in this day and age when we so revere the service of the men and women who serve in our armed forces that there was once a time (the 1960s to be exact) when we made a mockery of our service personnel in TV and the movies. Case in point: McHale's Navy, starring Ernest Borgnine and Tim Conway (Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy) as PT boat crewman during World War II who are hell bent on making a quick buck, picking up women and other general unmilitary-like antics. And need I mention Gomer Pyle USMC, Wackiest Ship in the Army (with Ricky Nelson) and Operation Petticoat, to name a few more? In the post-World War II pre-Vietnam era, we apparently thought our military was full of bumbling idiots, schemers, and general malingers. Good thing nowadays, we support our troops.


The Recipe:

1 pound dry navy beans (soak or not soak, your choice)
2 quarts water (I chickened out and used part borth)
1 pound meaty ham bone
salt to taste
1/2 tsp pepper
1 medium onion, chopped
1 bay leaf

Put all ingredients on CROCK-POT. Cover and cook on low for 10 -12 hours (If you want to be high, 5 to 6 hours). Makes enough to feed an army.

With Three You Get Soup Dumplings

A few years ago, a friend and I happened to be cold and hungry and in New York's Chinatown neighborhood when we stumbled upon a restauarant that looked pretty much like all the others on Mott Street. With one exception, that is. This place had a tutorial on the place mat on how to eat xiao long bao (soup dumplings, to you and I). Intrigued, we ordered a batch. Heaven - short and sweet - is how I would describe the experience. A tightly wrapped dumpling filled with pork  (made to order in the open kitchen)and a gelatinous gel, that when steamed is turned to soup, and when eaten just right, gives one the sensation of hot soup and an entree all in one. Experts suggest finding the thin side of the dumpling and biting a small hole to release the liquid onto the oblong spoon, slurping the soup and then popping the dumpling into your mouth. Anyway, fast forward a few years, and the Julia child becomes introduced to xiao long bao while reading a book about a girl who travels to Taiwan to visit her Grandmother. She of course sets herself on a quest to eat soup dumplings and the impetus for a trip to New York City is born. The rest, as they say, is history....

With Six You Get Eggroll, the 1968 Doris Day/Brian Keith classic that I saw as a child at the drive-in ( I believe the now defunct Oak Drive-in) and remembered fondly. Sadly, like everything else from my childhood, it turns out to be completely inappropriate to show my child. Sexual innuendo and the battle of the sexes peak as a widow with three sons reunites with an "old friend" widower with a teenage daughter. When they decide to marry, sparks fly, but between the kids, not the adults. The highlight seems to be the debut of George Carlin in his first acting role. Tensions rise and fall, but all is well once they realize that now when this melded family orders Chinese food, there are enough of them to get free egg rolls. Apparently, one day this lady met a fellow and they knew they were much more than a hunch....


The Recipe:

Plane ticket
Cab fare
Metro card
NYC Street map app to 100 Mott Street

Special Equipment: Cash (they don't take checks or cards)

Fly to New York. Take a cab into Manhattan (preferably Grand Central Station). You can take the bus, but if there are more than two persons in your party, you may as well cab it. Purchase a MetroCard and board the number 6 train Downtown. Exit at the Spring Street Station. Head eats on Spring Street 2 blocks until you reach Mott Street. Turn left. Your destination, Shanghai Cafe, will be about a half a block on the right. Try not to buy too many knock off Louis Vitton bags or Rolex watches on your way. Order #1 for shrimp, # 2 for pork dumplings.